What does friendship mean to you? Not just in terms of value, but also its defining characteristics. ( Curiosity. It wont kill this cat, so be open about it please.)
Friendship for me has become a rather muttled term. For ever and ever I thought that all friends were on the same level of one another, but they are not. It's funny to think how simply I thought it all was. I mean, now even the use of the phrase "friend", to me, can mean so many different things. I consider Genhen to be a friend...a best friend. I also consider my brother to be a best friend. These two friends know me, but in different ways. Genhen I live with, so all of my little nuances have become blaring signals as to my mood and energy level. I haven't lived with my brother for over a decade now and yet he still knows me. I can say a simple sentance to him and he can automatically tell that something might be up. It's cool. I love that these two men, whom are both my brothers, know me that well. The best part of all is that I feel rather confident in the belief that I know them almost aswell as they know me.
Another thing that I've noticed with age, is that friendships between women and women, is so entirely different from friendships between women and men. I've trusted very few men in my life, but the ones that I call my "friends" are incredibly special to me. I feel like I can say anything and they will ultimately be completely honest with what they think of any particular situation. I also love the feeling of being protected and being watched over. =D Thanks guys!!!
With women however, finding that true and complete trust is extremely difficult. Almost always there is that underlying thought that maybe this (female) "friend" doesn't really know me at all. I know that someone out there will say that I feel this way, because perhapse I'm not being completely honest with them. And I will agree that that is a very good observation, but I don't feel like that's always the case. Most of the time I work backwards in my friendships. I tend to give complete trust in the begining and as I get to know someone better, they either are trusted implicitly or not at all. It's a difficult balancing act then. Knowing who to trust and how much. Knowing who will be there for you in hard times and in bad. Knowing that you can still be a good friend to someone who doesn't always deserve it. I can count the number of real female friends that I've had throughout my life on one hand. Keep in mind that I'm refering to women who I trusted with my deepest darkest secrets. On that note..."BIG UPS TO GRINNINGCOMB!" =D
Sumation:
Friendship can either be a wealth of knowledge and support, or it can be destructive mentally, emotionally and sometimes even physically. Cherrish what you have with those friends out there who give you love regardless of your faults, and sometimes even because of them. I know that the people in my life who I can truly call my friends mean the world to me. They've become my family. I love you. (xoxoxo)
-note to mom and hermano:
El hecho de que incluyo a mis amistades en mi familia no quiere decir que no quiero muchisimo a mi familia de sangre. Les amo muchisimo les extrano igual. (abrasos y besos)
Friendship for me has become a rather muttled term. For ever and ever I thought that all friends were on the same level of one another, but they are not. It's funny to think how simply I thought it all was. I mean, now even the use of the phrase "friend", to me, can mean so many different things. I consider Genhen to be a friend...a best friend. I also consider my brother to be a best friend. These two friends know me, but in different ways. Genhen I live with, so all of my little nuances have become blaring signals as to my mood and energy level. I haven't lived with my brother for over a decade now and yet he still knows me. I can say a simple sentance to him and he can automatically tell that something might be up. It's cool. I love that these two men, whom are both my brothers, know me that well. The best part of all is that I feel rather confident in the belief that I know them almost aswell as they know me.
Another thing that I've noticed with age, is that friendships between women and women, is so entirely different from friendships between women and men. I've trusted very few men in my life, but the ones that I call my "friends" are incredibly special to me. I feel like I can say anything and they will ultimately be completely honest with what they think of any particular situation. I also love the feeling of being protected and being watched over. =D Thanks guys!!!
With women however, finding that true and complete trust is extremely difficult. Almost always there is that underlying thought that maybe this (female) "friend" doesn't really know me at all. I know that someone out there will say that I feel this way, because perhapse I'm not being completely honest with them. And I will agree that that is a very good observation, but I don't feel like that's always the case. Most of the time I work backwards in my friendships. I tend to give complete trust in the begining and as I get to know someone better, they either are trusted implicitly or not at all. It's a difficult balancing act then. Knowing who to trust and how much. Knowing who will be there for you in hard times and in bad. Knowing that you can still be a good friend to someone who doesn't always deserve it. I can count the number of real female friends that I've had throughout my life on one hand. Keep in mind that I'm refering to women who I trusted with my deepest darkest secrets. On that note..."BIG UPS TO GRINNINGCOMB!" =D
Sumation:
Friendship can either be a wealth of knowledge and support, or it can be destructive mentally, emotionally and sometimes even physically. Cherrish what you have with those friends out there who give you love regardless of your faults, and sometimes even because of them. I know that the people in my life who I can truly call my friends mean the world to me. They've become my family. I love you. (xoxoxo)
-note to mom and hermano:
El hecho de que incluyo a mis amistades en mi familia no quiere decir que no quiero muchisimo a mi familia de sangre. Les amo muchisimo les extrano igual. (abrasos y besos)
posted by Neri at Wednesday, September 28, 2005
2 Comments:
What does friendship mean to me? It can and does mean many things. I have always had multiple best friends. Those I feel I can share all of my thoughts with. Those the people I give that title may have changed over the years.
My best friends...Those I can talk to about anything. Those that I can fight with and talk about and work past. Those I feel I can call at 3 am if I need to and don't get a bad reception. My best friends I can tell my truest feelings to even when they might hurt that person.
Oh and thanks Neri for the big UPS!
I don't really know. One measure I've used for a long time (you'll be able to tell once you see it that it's an old measure) to gauge what level of friendship I am at with someone is the "ride" test. I don't really like to ask for help or be a burden, so if I feel comfortale asking someone for a ride home I'd consider that person a step up from acquaintance, but might not consider them a person to confide in.
I have a hard time finding new friends IRL because I'm either shy or too reserved. I always feel that if I start talking about my problems or feelings, the other person is going to be too over burdened and get tired of me. Intellectually I know that if this happens the person wasn't friend material in the first place, but I still have that in the back of my mind.
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