Homosexuality

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
-Megasoreass
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
-Lickalottapuss

While talking to a friend today, I was asked if I would be offended by these two jokes. I said no, but that I know several people who would take immediate offense to them. These would be the same types of people who would immediately jump to the conclusion that everyone they met were predudice against gays and lesbians.

Homosexuality in my experience isn't easy, therefore know that it is not a choice. You either are or you aren't. There is an in between in this case...that being Bisexual, which as all of you know I am. It isn't easy knowing that there are people out there who will hate you for who you are. But it would be entirely worse for me in particualar to deny who I am. I've known my whole life that I was interested in females. My first memory of legitimately being attracted to a girl was when I was about 5 years old. At that age of coarse you don't really stand up and shout, "I'm here. I'm queer. Get used to it!". Although you must admit that seeing a 5 year old do that would be genuinely funny. I didn't really know however how to define what I was doing or how I feeling. I just knew that as I was kissing Carla C. in the bathroom at my Catholic school, that I felt extremely excited and strangely content. My mom came to pick me up that day and when she and the after school program director came looking for us, they found us in one of the stalls kissing. I remember that day as if it were yesterday, but it was never talked about. It was ignored as most of the "uncomfortable" things in my family are treated. We just don't talk about our issues or problems. That is unless it's the A-typical crap of, not having enough money, or feeling ignored, or wanting to do something or go somewhere.
I spent the majority of high school ignoring the way that I was feeling. Being attracted to girls at school but never really telling my friends, because my friends were openly disgusted with homosexuals. Looking back on it now, I think that I should have just told them anyways. It's not like I still talk to any of them. It's not like their opinion matters to me now. Hindsight is always 20/20. Regardless, I know that I am a Bisexual female living in the bible belt of America. Thank God, irronically enough, that there actually are Gay bars/clubs in this city and there is even The Gay and Lesbian Community. I know that it's hard for young people out there who are trying to figure out whether or not the thoughts in their heads are wrong. I wont tell them that they should be Gay, but I also wont tell them that they should ignore their feelings and/or thoughts because of what others might say or do to them. It was strangely cathartic coming out to my mother. I've known my whole life that although she is a caring an accepting individual, that she did not want one of her children to be Gay. So when I finally came out to her it was after I had broken up with my (now Ex-) fiance, and was feeling rather destroyed. I was hoping to have a shoulder to cry on, instead I got, " Well I'm sorry that you are feeling bad, but you should be with a man anyways. See it didn't work out with that girl for a reason.". She was right about the fact that it didn't work out for a reason, but the reason being that Brandi just wasn't good for me-we weren't good for eachother. I can't say that I have completely figured life out, that I am completely comfortable with who I am or what I'm doing, but accepting that I am a Bisexual somehow makes the rest of the mountain seem more like pebbles in a stream. I have things that I want to work on, but they aren't things that are going to make or break me. I am Norma, a Bisexual, an artist, a daughter, a friend, a joker, a lover, a seeker of balance, a Masterbaker and just an all around cutie. :D

The point in this long post is just that figuring out who you are and what you want shouldn't be something that you look upon with dread. That allowing your fear of someone's judgement to cloud or even obstruct your growth as a person is weak. I know that I don't want to be a weak person. And I've found that the stronger you are inside the more respect you will receive from the outside. It took me a long time to realise that being true to myself was more important than the fear I had that my family and friends would reject me. Also if you are maybe a person who hates, fears or is disgusted by homosexuality, try to remember that it is not a choice, that we are not hurting anyone and above all, Homosexuality is not a cult-we are not recruiting.