Balance

I'm unbalanced. Stresses wear me down. Anger takes over. Hate hurts. Depression rules. My vices aren't smoking or drinking, they're all that is negative and oppressing. It is my world, it is my life. I don't know how to be outside of those things. I don't know how to find my balance. I want to. I mean, I know that how I'm acting is wrong, or that what I'm saying is cruel...but even though I can recognise it, I never really know how to stop it. It's like a murderer who says after the fact, that they don't even remember being in the same room with the victim. I'm not trying to make excusses. I want change. I do. If I didn't...I wouldn't talk about it. If I didn't, I wouldn't fear failure. To me, fearing a fuck up means that I'm more conscientious about my actions. If I'm more conscientious about it, then it will be easier to avoid. Something like that. =D One day at a time right? RIGHT?!?!?! lol